Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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