Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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