u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Drake has all the answers
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
