I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
