READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
