You're completely useless in the revolution.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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