NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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