My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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