I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
3 2 1 whiskey
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
