I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize