I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I smell like Dick and happiness
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