So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
