high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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