So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
