I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize