You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
