White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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