Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
