So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
