apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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