I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
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