You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
