just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
