This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
