Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
oh god was she eating orange peels again
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize