I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
