Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
And then he peed in my hair
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