apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
