toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
