Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Just high enough for therapy.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
