I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
