At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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