why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
it was like his penis was on wheels.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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