Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
