Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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