So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
