I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
