Don't make out with my wife yet
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
