I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
