I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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