Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
