He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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