Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
