What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
