It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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