So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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