I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
