Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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