letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
