I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he shaved USA in his pubs
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
