I wanna passion pit in your ass
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
