Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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