i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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