"it" just moved
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
