haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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