I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm eating all of the evidence.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
