nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
