matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
